Age Is But A Number
This past Sunday, July the 16th I celebrated my
38th birthday. Which means that I celebrated 38 years of growth,
pain, love, doubts, fears, strength, struggles, accomplishments, tears,
laughter, self-hate and self-love. 38 years of LIFE, period. You see, I have learned to take the bad along
with the good. The bitter with the sweet
and the joy with the pain. I must admit I am very excited about aging. For me
there is something mysteriously beautiful about evolving as a being. You live,
you learn… you know better, you do better. There are so many things that I have
learned. So many interesting people that I have met and loved along the way. I
am grateful for every ounce of wisdom, misunderstanding, hatred, love,
let-downs and guidance. Everything happens for a reason and in every happening there is a message. As I sit here I try to recall what I thought about aging as a
young girl. Honestly, my mind goes blank. Crickets. I never
thought I’d be here. I always knew that I wanted children… a husband I could do
without. Truth. I don’t like depending on people, I never have. So, the plans
for a husband never crossed my mind until my late teenage years. Even then I
set a "marriage deadline"… if it didn’t happen by the age of 24 it was never going
to happen. I also never thought that I would be as giving to others as I am. As
patient as I am now. As strong as I am now. I’ve always heard an elder say, “When you get
older, you stop caring about how people feel about you.” I would laugh on the
inside because I’ve never cared how or what people thought of me. For quite some
time my theory has been that people hate what they don’t understand and they
fear what makes them uncomfortable. Their insecurities… not my problem. The
one thing that I was 100% certain of was the fact that no matter how many people walked
out of my life that I would never lose ME. I may have strayed but I have
managed to hold on to Erica. To do what I love, when I love. I am blessed indeed.
My heart smiles daily and my soul finds joy in the simplicities of life. I truly believe
that my soul has always been old -it’s my heart that remains forever young.
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