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If You Speak It, They Will Listen.

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As an adult I look back at my elementary days and I often wish there were things that I could change. I never realized that I was a bully until the 7th or 8th grade. I’m not sure why I did the things that I did to some. It’s not something that I am proud of but I am proud of the efforts that I took to mend those relationships as an adult. I’m not an only child, I had friends,  and I had attention. I honestly just think that I had a bit of hatred, meanness or anger within me. Whatever it may be I acknowledged years ago that it was wrong. When I became a mother things definitely took a different turn. I never wanted either of my princes to be bullied or to bully others. I begin to instill in them the importance of taking up for themselves without causing harm to others; verbally or physically. However, I also told them sometimes you may have to fight back just to let others know that you will not tolerate being a target. I remember in high school I was approached by a female; a fellow c…

Sorry But Not Sorry *uncensored*

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When did we start believing that it is okay to hate ourselves? When did hurting instead of healing become acceptable? I struggled for a few minutes about whether I should write this. I have a voice.  I can either use it as I see fit or remain silent. Even, if only heard by one I choose to be heard. For days I've thought of things that concern me about my culture. I’m sure that other cultures have similar issues. However, my culture is what I am aware of and it is the state of my culture that concerns me. Our ancestors came from different tribes, different social and economic standings. However, at the end of the day many were captured, stolen, sold and became slaves. I have watched women go from the days of Queen Latifah, “Who You Calling a Bitch?” Unacceptable. To the days of Tupac “Wonder Why They Call You Bitch?” Acceptable and this is why.To the current days when being called a bitch is viewed by some as a badge of honor. My, my, my and if you put bad in front, it really is su…

Blessed Are Those That Age

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Today is great! Yesterday was great, in fact every day that I awake with a present mind, mobile body a healthy, happy and safe family is great. Our oldest prince, Kris has begun to settle in at his post and he seems confident in his future. Not surprised, they were all raised with the belief that they can accomplish anything. Champion mindsets and spirits. I’ve said it a lot and I’ll continue to express my excitement, pride and adoration for him. At the age of 19 he’s coming into adulthood quite nicely. The other princes are also doing well. I can’t believe how fast they are growing, Torian will be in the 8th grade and Aaron will be going into the 4th.  It's amazing how many people think that I'm their older sister instead of their mother. Black don't crack. Gift and a curse but believe me -I have no issue informing them otherwise. Next month if it is the Lord’s will I will be celebrating my 38th birthday. I’m so excited!!! I used to think that “getting old” was just getti…

Flawless

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Everybody is not out to get you, everyone is not out to love you either. Just remember that and also that whatever their motive is, your first priority is making sure that YOU are straight. When was the last time that you checked on yourself? Sounds like a crazy question at first but ask yourself right now, “are YOU ok?”When was the last time that you made sure that you were fulfilling your destiny, accomplishing your goals or simply just giving honor to the amazing and beautiful being that YOU are? I admit it’s hard, especially if you are a female. Women were created with an undeniable desire to care for others. Whether it is offspring, family, friends, co-workers or mates… all women have this asset. I’m smiling now as I write because to and for some the same asset is transformed into a flaw. We’ve all be an unwilling witness to this occurrence. How many times have we watched a fellow Queen take a downward spiral? Her intent on giving or speaking life to a dying situation. She is com…

Let It Rain

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For the past few days it has been pouring but it’s supposed to clear up by this evening. Which kind of makes me a little sad because I am one of those people that absolutely adores the rain! As long as I can remember I’ve loved the rain. I love the smell, feel and sound of it. However, I will admit that I dislike driving in it. I don’t even own an umbrella. I remember the first rain after I returned to natural. It was a slight drizzle and I stepped out in it. My hair was in an up do – a high pony that consisted of chunky pieces of hair from a two strand twist out. It was glorious. The rain pelted onto my hair and I felt so free. The closer that I got to my car the harder the rain fell. I was in my element. I checked my reflection in my rearview mirror when I got into my car. I had beads of water all over my hair and it made me realize how magnificent God’s creations are. Yesterday I had a five star moment. Let me be completely honest, it was actually a 10 star moment. During my drive …

Taken

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I am a big fan of the ID Channel. #IDADDICT I can watch episodes on that channel for hours. I hear all the gruesome details and though I’m completely shocked at some of the stories, I don’t feel the same pain as I once did. However, when the crimes occur closer to my home, community or county my heart severely aches. I really don’t understand it anymore. So far this week there have been 3 bodies found, 1 adult male, 1 adult female and that of a preteen child. Yes, this week… it’s Tuesday. It’s only Tuesday. My heart breaks for the families of the victims. My heart breaks for the victims, there’s no telling what their final moments were like. There’s so much violence around us. I remember when I was a child, if a body was found it sent shock through the community. Everyone would be on high alert; people locked their doors double checked their windows because things like that “never” happened in Madison County. The suspect was always believed to have been someone that was just passing t…

Truth Hurts

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They say it comes in threes. Death. I’m not sure how accurate that is but one thing for certain is that it will come. We never know when, how, where we will be or what we will be doing when it does.Some years ago, I remember having this fear about dying. A fear that I had never felt before. At the time, I wasn’t sure I the fear itself was about death -the process or just death in general. After further examination, I determined that what I feared had nothing to do with dying but it had everything to do with the people that I would leave behind. The emotions, the pain, the sorrow and yes, the possible questions and anger. That is what hurt me the most. That is what I feared the most- not being a witness to those things. Not being able to comfort anyone during that time. Death is final and things that would occur after my passing would be unknown to myself. There would be nothing that I could do or change. I, my physical presence would no longer exist. However, my influence would live f…