Flat Out

I remember when I used to wear heels. Every shoe that I owned had to have a high heel. I don’t know why but I was drawn to heels. Maybe it was my short person complex or the fact that I wanted to feel extra girly since I had been a tomboy forever. Whatever the case may have been after the leg paralysis associated with my diagnosis of hypokalemia  (low potassium) – my leg muscles didn’t seem as strong. Well to be honest, they weren’t strong at all. I remember my first attempt to wear  heels a few months later. I thought oh, my potassium is leveled, I’ll be fine. I was incorrect…. No, I was wrong as hell! Blunt.  I put those heels on and left the house knowing something didn’t feel right. I even took them off and drove barefoot to work. Every step that I took it felt as though my calves and thighs were being stretched like taffy. I'm not sure which was worse the stretching or the forest fire like burn that followed. It’s a good thing that I worked in a clinical call center. I don’t even think I took a bathroom break that day. I knew the next day that I needed to wear a lower heel. Finally, I had to be honest with Erica… Queen you need flats. Flats. I had never noticed any cute flats. How was that going to work? I found a black pair and a blue pair at Goodwill; which used to be my spot until they increased their prices. I was not willing to spend a whole lot of money on some flats. Who did that? I didn’t try them on at Goodwill, I waited until I got home. A little embarrassed to be buying them while wearing a pair of ivory heels covered in black lace.  Both pair had not even been broken in so I would be able to get a lot of wear out of them.  From the moment that I slipped them on and walked around... RELIEF. They made me feel awkward but they were comfortable. They weren’t the sexiest shoes but they were sensible. Revelation. I could walk all day and not have throbbing legs at night. I could fall asleep without tingling feet. One night -when the difference dawned on me, I thought… all the time that I have spent being uncomfortable. I paid for pain. Who did that? The heels, the flats… there is not a shoe on this earth that can define me ME. That was, is and will always be the truth -flat out.