A Teenage Love
“It’s one thing to waste my time but I’ll be damned if you
waste my son’s.”
There I was, immersed in full tub of hot water and Calgon.
I had just spoken those words, words in my mind that I had thought hundreds of
times before. I could raise my son on my own; I knew that I wanted the presence of a male in his life but neither of use needed that male’s influence in ours. What now? Guilty by association… I even thought of changing my son’s last
name. I wasn’t bitter. I wasn’t angry. I was at peace. I was strong enough to do what I had been
doing since August the 7th of 1997. Actuality sunk in, I had been
doing it, loving the tiny being growing inside of me from the very day that I discovered
that I was pregnant at the age of 17. My love for him grew with each passing day. It was
a direct representation of everything I did, watched, ate and read. I would sing to him and
inform him that he was worthy long before he entered into this world. There we
were almost 3 years into learning one another. My ability to nurture him came
so natural, at times I shocked myself. His
laughter became my favorite song, his smile pierced my thoughts. I continued to
soak in the water; steam on my face… eyes closed, total relaxation. Inhaled,
exhaled and as long as the heartbeat that drummed in my head kept rhythm I would
continue to love my child.
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